How My Heart Behaves

I've been forcing myself to eat well since my second friend died. Unfortunately I am weak willed and for the past two days I have cheated. Before I went to bed I warmed up a couple of cookies and snacked on those before my slumber. The result of which is I have had crazy dreams the past two days. The first dream wasn't so bad. It started out with me having a threesome with an unidentified woman and a married lady friend of mine, which was all well and good if not a little weird. All it really did was reinforce the fact that I need a woman in my life. The second dream was really messed up though. I was dreaming about my friend that died of cancer and we were having all the conversations I wanted to have with him but couldn't. I literally woke up crying. I have never done that before. His face was on the local news this past weekend. There was a cancer walk in my area and there were thousands raised on his behalf so he got a little spot on the news. God he was a good guy. Damn cancer.